New portable bladder for only $99.99

Hello there, humungous sea creatures! It's me again with more nothingness for you. Today I have the pleasure to announce that the invention that is going to solve all of your problems is on sale here for only $99.99. And, monthly payments of $9.99 can be arranged ;)

No, but really, who hasn't wanted to be able to take off their bladder and give it to someone else so they can pee for you? I mean, I like peeing. Okay, let me rephrase that to make it sound a little bit less creepy. I enjoy peeing sometimes. Ok, didn't achieve it... still creepy. But anyways, peeing can be nice when you do it. It has a kinda release sensation that comes along with it; however, don't you just hate it when you are watching a movie and the murderer is about to kill the girl, and suddenly you realize you have been holding in your pee for far too long and you have to choose between the murder and wetting your pants or the bathroom and having to ask what happened?

Another awful thing, at least this happens to me, is when you want to sleep in on a weekend, or any other day that you don't have obligations, and then you have wake up to pee. I don't know about you, but when that happens I can never go back to sleep, wether it is for having woken up, or for my mom assuming that everyone suffers from the same insomnia as her.

So think about it. Would you invest on being able to give your bladder to someone and have them pee instead of you? Don't you think that would be a good way of earning money, you could work as a professional pee-man and charge 5 bucks for taking someone's bladder to the toilet. Don't you see it?!?! Effortless urination AND NEW JOB OPPORTUNITIES!!! This is THE invention of the century.

Ha ha ha! I don't know. I think it'd be nice. Specially since I gotta pee right now. Alright, so I'll write to you later. Hope you exist and I'm not writing this for the monster inside my closet only (O.o?) 'lright, cya.