With apreciation, don't come to our wedding!

Dear friends:

With these letters we are proud to announce that we are getting married. And with the reason of celebrating the union, the ceremony followed by a party with take place at (insert place) on the (insert date).

Of course, in a celebration as such we thought of you immediately. Nevertheless, taking into consideration how horrible weddings are, we decided to make a determination. Therefor, with love and care to you, we ask you not to come and send your regards otherwise. Presents will still be accepted via mail to the following address:

(insert address)

Sincerely, (insert bride and groom's names)

And that, guys, is how my wedding invitation would go. Or at least, that is how I'd like most of the wedding invitations to go. I mean I understand the point of weddings. I believe in love at some point and I guess that someday, a zillion years into the future, I'll probably want to get married to end my life with somebody (although I wouldn't do it without a prenup, but that's another cup of tea). Yet, I hate being invited to a wedding.

I have never understood how it is that we get angry if we don't get invited to a matrimony, though we hate them so much. Just think about it: Excruciatingly uncomfortable clothing, painfully unsavory meals, the cheesiest of toasts, and the most terrible of it all, listening to the most out of key singers reaping classics into pieces.

Some of you might agree with me, and to those of you who don't, I ask: Have you ever woken up the day of a wedding (in which you are not part of the family or one of the best friends) and said "Oh, thanks God for this being a wedding day!" Of course not. And I left family and best friends out cause I get their joy. I mean, I of course will not send that out as my invitations, but if I did I would party with my family and my 5 best friends. Those who really appreciate you, like your wedding. But why invite the neighbors hairdresser or the lady who cleans your grandma's house to your matrimony?

I don't know. I just had to go to one of those dull weddings yesterday and I thought about it. They are all boring, and tiring, and give you an upset stomach the next day from the hard meat late at night. Just think about it and let me know what you think if you want to. But for the time being, if I don't talk to you at least once a week, or have a family relationship shorter than first cousin with you, then PLEASE DON'T INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING! Thank you for your appreciation on thinking of me, but you're actually giving me an inconvenience with it. 'lright! Cya!

Am I addicted to urination?

OOMG! Guys, I just read all of my posts and I found out that from all eight of them, four talk about crotches, peeing, urination... Am I addicted to pee? HELP! I'm freaking out! hahaha! This is just a quick post, so bye

New portable bladder for only $99.99

Hello there, humungous sea creatures! It's me again with more nothingness for you. Today I have the pleasure to announce that the invention that is going to solve all of your problems is on sale here for only $99.99. And, monthly payments of $9.99 can be arranged ;)

No, but really, who hasn't wanted to be able to take off their bladder and give it to someone else so they can pee for you? I mean, I like peeing. Okay, let me rephrase that to make it sound a little bit less creepy. I enjoy peeing sometimes. Ok, didn't achieve it... still creepy. But anyways, peeing can be nice when you do it. It has a kinda release sensation that comes along with it; however, don't you just hate it when you are watching a movie and the murderer is about to kill the girl, and suddenly you realize you have been holding in your pee for far too long and you have to choose between the murder and wetting your pants or the bathroom and having to ask what happened?

Another awful thing, at least this happens to me, is when you want to sleep in on a weekend, or any other day that you don't have obligations, and then you have wake up to pee. I don't know about you, but when that happens I can never go back to sleep, wether it is for having woken up, or for my mom assuming that everyone suffers from the same insomnia as her.

So think about it. Would you invest on being able to give your bladder to someone and have them pee instead of you? Don't you think that would be a good way of earning money, you could work as a professional pee-man and charge 5 bucks for taking someone's bladder to the toilet. Don't you see it?!?! Effortless urination AND NEW JOB OPPORTUNITIES!!! This is THE invention of the century.

Ha ha ha! I don't know. I think it'd be nice. Specially since I gotta pee right now. Alright, so I'll write to you later. Hope you exist and I'm not writing this for the monster inside my closet only (O.o?) 'lright, cya.

Third-arm gagalitis

Yes, I know that I haven't written anything in far too long, and I know that what I am about to write is old news and everyone is over it, but apparently there is still someone not over it yet, cause they left me a reply talking about it on a comment I made on youtube.

First of all, I wanna try and justify myself for not blogging in forever. Well, Let me just say that for some weird reason I kinda must have gotten a life, because as soon as I wrote my last entry I stopped having free time. Then, I started french classes to try and savoir comment le fraçais se peux parler (know how french can be spoken), and finally, I started college a few weeks ago.

Well with that said, let's dig our hands on our subject and start bla-blaing about what's important.

OMG! When are people gonna stop talking about Lady Gaga's penis. I mean, I know it was somehow shocking, and even I spoke about it for a few days when I got tired of talking about myself, because that's apparently the only thing I talk about (No, I actually almost never talk about myself with my friends, I mean I do with strangers cause that's what you usually do when you introduce yourself, but with my friends I usually babble about nothing.). But I did talk about the gagapenis a few times, nevertheless, people should start getting a life and stop talking about that.

I mean, I don't know if she has a penis, and quite frankly I don't care. She can have a penis, testicles, or a third arm coming out of her vagina, and I don't care. She can have a sea monster living in it, or a three room condo inside of it for her childhood barbies and I couldn't care less. I mean, the third arm can be contagious, and STILL I wouldn't mind.

I don't know, I may be overreacting, but I'm just sick of reading comments about it on youtube. And it's not like I'm writing this because "poor her. She must feel awful about it", I'm doing it just because I'm sick of it as a subject.

Although, don't you think having a third arm down there would be useful? You could pick up things without leaning down, and scrub the floor easily, you could regain your balance when you slip, and... Ok, I ran out of uses for it, but you gotta admit that it would be cool somehow. Or is it that I'm just weird?

Well, I guess that's it for today. I'll try to write soon, but can't promise a thing. See you later guys, and please, for the love of God, don't talk about the gagadick anymore... not cool.