De nuevo la caja del diablo

Hace unos días vi en Yahoo News algo acerca del televisor en 3-D, y he estado oyendo mucho de él (aunque me ha dado pereza leer el artículo y ponerle atención al tele para oír la noticia), así que decidí escribir un poco sobre lo que pienso de ello.

Bien, pueden llamarme anticuado, antiprogresista, imbécil o paranoico, pero estoy seguro que esos televisores no deben de ser nada buenos para la vista. Ya sé que debo de sonar como vieja loca #1 que decía que el teléfono era una caja del demonio y que los diablos eran los que hablaban x ahí, pero es que simplemente hay algo que no me hace click con estos teles. Les cuento el porqué.

Yo fui a ver Avatar dos veces, y las dos veces salí con un dolor de cabeza y con una sensación que la Reina Roja de Alicia en el País de las Cacavillas (la

de Tim Burton) era una miniatura a como yo sentía la mía. Entonces imagínense, si eso fue sólo tres horas, cómo sería ver un maratón de películas o la trilogía de El Señor de los Anillos. De fijo uno queda como desayuno americano: frito y tostado.

Entonces no sé, no me parece una buena idea los televisores 3-D, además, cada par de lentes cuesta un ojo de la cara, entonces sinceramente no creo que uno pueda comprar más de cuatro. Eso quiere decir que si llegan visitas uno les dice "Di, sorry, no puede ver tele porque no hay lentes". O sea, no. No me parece.

Díganme atrasado o comunista o lo que quieran, pero si el impulso comercial del momento es ese, yo no pienso adherirme a él, aunque me obliguen cuando ya dejen de hacer tele en 2-d. Me rehuso a aceptarlo. Es innecesario y tonto. Así que chao! y que me avisen cuando inventen algo nuevo que no sea así de irreverente.

Digan lo que quieran en los comentarios, si es q existe alguien q lea esto, y nos vemos!

Lets have a quickie...

Ok, I know I should probably be sleeping, and I know its been too long since my last post, but it is only cause school has been shit and the world hasn't been very facecrampy lately. I don't even know why I'm writing this, but yet again, Idk why I do most things, so...

Alright, this post is just to let you know that I decided that it would be better to write in Spanish, so if you happen to miraculously be an english-reading facecramper that wants the posts to be in English, then tell me on a comment to this post and I'll translate them, but since I don't think there is anyone reading this, I'm gonna hablar en español.

Run to the Hills... or away from them?

Hey guys! It's been some time since my last entry, and I'm gonna tell you why. I simply... didn't have a single idea of what to write about. Even as I write this I think it's probably gonna end up being shit. But anyway, I wanted to write something, so here it goes.
I have an out-in-the-open secret obsession for reality TV. Idk why it is sooooo addictive, maybe because of the obviously fake drama filled scenes, or because there's is always a stupid blonde and an assholish jerk to make fun of, however, no matter what the reason is, I just LOOOOOOVE reality television (except for Jersey Shore. That's just downright stupid). And of course, reality TV is synonym of lauren conrad, audrina patridge, speidi and many more jerks and blondes to make fun of. So now, that The Hills' buzz is filling the air like pollen during allergy season (and yes, by that I mean it is giving everyone rashes in inappropriate places... although that might just be me) it makes sense for me to write about it.
Don't get me wrong, I like the show, I like hating heidi for letting spencer not hit her while doing anything but, I like watching Kristen destroy couples, and seeing Audrina be boring, therefore, now that the show is apparently coming to an end but there are rumors of it continuing, I don't really know what to think of it.
The thing is, this season seems like it will be so great and filled with action, and sex, and violence and, OH DEAR LORD, Heidi might actually kiss spencer's butt out of her life; but do you think it would be interesting to see the same old stories once more next season. I mean, seriously, who wants to look at the new real life pokémon heiditronix trying to find a bf with a reputation in a worse state than her new face (she is accusing Adam Divello of harassment, FCOL)? Or who wants to see Brody trying to tap the bartender, apparently the only woman on the show who hasn't been with him? Or who would like to see Lauren come back and talk nonstop about how "Kristin is a bad girl"? Frankly, the show is just becoming boring.
So, I just though that, unless something extraordinary happens like a nuclear bomb hitting Hollywood and all of the girls becoming zombie infected three legged robot hookers, then a sixth season (or whatever season they are going on) is unnecessary and uncalled for.
What do you think? Let me know, for real, leave a damn comment if you read this cause I want to know if anyone does, hehe. Alright guys, see you later... or blog you later in this case.

BTW, where on earth did that bartender came from? One episode she

is Heidi's nemesis and the next she's at her wedding?!! And the next she's like featured more than her!?! Idk, if MTV wants us to believe these stories, maybe they should stop thinking we're as dumb as Heidi.

Don't heidi look already like a zombie infected, three legged robot hooker, except without three legs?

Constanti-what?

Quick post here. Just wanted to share with you, one of the catchiest songs ever! It is called Istanbul (Not Constantinople) and this version is the original one. It was recorded by The Four Lads on 1953. Enjoy, and remember... Now it's Istanbul!

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vankaSlfSr0&feature=related

I'm kind of a whore!

Hey, guys. This is just a quickie, and no you shouldn't relate the title to what I just said. I AM NOT POSTING NUDE PICTURES OF ANY KIND ON HERE..., maybe just the occasional donkey porn, but nothing else xd?

This is actually just to comment on something. Do you think Tila Tequila is just in need of attention or is she just too much of a lame-ass? As if it wasn't enough with her previous songs, her bisexual date show that was more of a pg-13 rated porn movie, her second shot at aids... i mean love (was that too lame? hehe!), and her overall way of being; she had to release a single talking about how she likes being fucked by djs, or bout how djs have big dicks or something like that.

I dunno, I personally think that she just needs attention and, since she is so dumb, she acts like a whore to get it... but enough is enough. If at least the song wasn't so catchy, I wouldn't be minding it at all, but on top or everything the thing's stuck in my head.

Here's a link to the song and to its lyrics for you to judge yourselves:

Video with the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlN88a5dvM8

Lyrics: http://www.sweetslyrics.com/731777.Tila%20Tequila%20-%20I%20Fucked%20The%20DJ.html

Oh! The song is called... wait for it... "I FUCKED THE DJ"! And there is a cleaner version titled "I love my dj" in case you want to play it as a lullaby for your kids... They say it's just like Mozart for kids if you want your child to grow into a beautiful skanky asian girl with no imagination.

Peace!... and don't fuck Tila, you have no idea where that Dj has been.

Uhmmm... just look at this book cover and tell me I'm wrong.

You have been blocked on Facebook

Hey guys! Today I want to talk about how senseless and assholefull Facebook's privacy has gotten. The day before yesterday, i was blocked for two days because I commented on too many pictures within a very little period of time. I was not able to comment on anything for two days and they told me that the more I tried to comment, the longer the blockage was gonna last. They also told me that the blockage could turn permanent if I insisted too much.

I think that is the biggest BS ever. All I did was join a group where there were pictures of cartoons and stuff from the 90's. The group was meant for people to comment on those pictures, but Facebook couldn't handle my comments. They claim that my behavior could be considered annoying, well I say you are stupid. If a person considers me annoying, they can delete me from their contacts, stop talking to me or report me themselves. Facebook shouldn't block me because they thought that I could hypothetically be considered annoying.

I don't know. I might be overreacting, you may call me a Drama King (does that apply for the masculine form), you may say you hate facebook and think I shouldn't have one in the first place, etc; but it all just seems stupid. Soon they are gonna start blocking people for gazing too long at a picture, or using too many commas in a status update. They are gonna shut down your account for sending more than one message a month to someone or for reposting on the same picture.

I mean, I get the point that it is all to avoid kidnapping and raping and sexual harassment and all those things, but that all happens because people add strangers to their contacts in the first place. So I think instead of freaking out and making Facebook an annoying experience for people, the employees there should think a bit before making stupid blockages. If people have no common sense, then maybe they deserve what they get at some extent. I guess that sounds awful, but it is not my fault that they do stupid things to get themselves in danger.

So, my point is, don't add strangers on Facebook, don't comment too much or you get blocked, and hate the employees at Facebook headquarters. Oh, and don't pick your nose with a needle... been there, done that, got cut too :S! Ok, cya!

With apreciation, don't come to our wedding!

Dear friends:

With these letters we are proud to announce that we are getting married. And with the reason of celebrating the union, the ceremony followed by a party with take place at (insert place) on the (insert date).

Of course, in a celebration as such we thought of you immediately. Nevertheless, taking into consideration how horrible weddings are, we decided to make a determination. Therefor, with love and care to you, we ask you not to come and send your regards otherwise. Presents will still be accepted via mail to the following address:

(insert address)

Sincerely, (insert bride and groom's names)

And that, guys, is how my wedding invitation would go. Or at least, that is how I'd like most of the wedding invitations to go. I mean I understand the point of weddings. I believe in love at some point and I guess that someday, a zillion years into the future, I'll probably want to get married to end my life with somebody (although I wouldn't do it without a prenup, but that's another cup of tea). Yet, I hate being invited to a wedding.

I have never understood how it is that we get angry if we don't get invited to a matrimony, though we hate them so much. Just think about it: Excruciatingly uncomfortable clothing, painfully unsavory meals, the cheesiest of toasts, and the most terrible of it all, listening to the most out of key singers reaping classics into pieces.

Some of you might agree with me, and to those of you who don't, I ask: Have you ever woken up the day of a wedding (in which you are not part of the family or one of the best friends) and said "Oh, thanks God for this being a wedding day!" Of course not. And I left family and best friends out cause I get their joy. I mean, I of course will not send that out as my invitations, but if I did I would party with my family and my 5 best friends. Those who really appreciate you, like your wedding. But why invite the neighbors hairdresser or the lady who cleans your grandma's house to your matrimony?

I don't know. I just had to go to one of those dull weddings yesterday and I thought about it. They are all boring, and tiring, and give you an upset stomach the next day from the hard meat late at night. Just think about it and let me know what you think if you want to. But for the time being, if I don't talk to you at least once a week, or have a family relationship shorter than first cousin with you, then PLEASE DON'T INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING! Thank you for your appreciation on thinking of me, but you're actually giving me an inconvenience with it. 'lright! Cya!

Am I addicted to urination?

OOMG! Guys, I just read all of my posts and I found out that from all eight of them, four talk about crotches, peeing, urination... Am I addicted to pee? HELP! I'm freaking out! hahaha! This is just a quick post, so bye

New portable bladder for only $99.99

Hello there, humungous sea creatures! It's me again with more nothingness for you. Today I have the pleasure to announce that the invention that is going to solve all of your problems is on sale here for only $99.99. And, monthly payments of $9.99 can be arranged ;)

No, but really, who hasn't wanted to be able to take off their bladder and give it to someone else so they can pee for you? I mean, I like peeing. Okay, let me rephrase that to make it sound a little bit less creepy. I enjoy peeing sometimes. Ok, didn't achieve it... still creepy. But anyways, peeing can be nice when you do it. It has a kinda release sensation that comes along with it; however, don't you just hate it when you are watching a movie and the murderer is about to kill the girl, and suddenly you realize you have been holding in your pee for far too long and you have to choose between the murder and wetting your pants or the bathroom and having to ask what happened?

Another awful thing, at least this happens to me, is when you want to sleep in on a weekend, or any other day that you don't have obligations, and then you have wake up to pee. I don't know about you, but when that happens I can never go back to sleep, wether it is for having woken up, or for my mom assuming that everyone suffers from the same insomnia as her.

So think about it. Would you invest on being able to give your bladder to someone and have them pee instead of you? Don't you think that would be a good way of earning money, you could work as a professional pee-man and charge 5 bucks for taking someone's bladder to the toilet. Don't you see it?!?! Effortless urination AND NEW JOB OPPORTUNITIES!!! This is THE invention of the century.

Ha ha ha! I don't know. I think it'd be nice. Specially since I gotta pee right now. Alright, so I'll write to you later. Hope you exist and I'm not writing this for the monster inside my closet only (O.o?) 'lright, cya.

Third-arm gagalitis

Yes, I know that I haven't written anything in far too long, and I know that what I am about to write is old news and everyone is over it, but apparently there is still someone not over it yet, cause they left me a reply talking about it on a comment I made on youtube.

First of all, I wanna try and justify myself for not blogging in forever. Well, Let me just say that for some weird reason I kinda must have gotten a life, because as soon as I wrote my last entry I stopped having free time. Then, I started french classes to try and savoir comment le fraçais se peux parler (know how french can be spoken), and finally, I started college a few weeks ago.

Well with that said, let's dig our hands on our subject and start bla-blaing about what's important.

OMG! When are people gonna stop talking about Lady Gaga's penis. I mean, I know it was somehow shocking, and even I spoke about it for a few days when I got tired of talking about myself, because that's apparently the only thing I talk about (No, I actually almost never talk about myself with my friends, I mean I do with strangers cause that's what you usually do when you introduce yourself, but with my friends I usually babble about nothing.). But I did talk about the gagapenis a few times, nevertheless, people should start getting a life and stop talking about that.

I mean, I don't know if she has a penis, and quite frankly I don't care. She can have a penis, testicles, or a third arm coming out of her vagina, and I don't care. She can have a sea monster living in it, or a three room condo inside of it for her childhood barbies and I couldn't care less. I mean, the third arm can be contagious, and STILL I wouldn't mind.

I don't know, I may be overreacting, but I'm just sick of reading comments about it on youtube. And it's not like I'm writing this because "poor her. She must feel awful about it", I'm doing it just because I'm sick of it as a subject.

Although, don't you think having a third arm down there would be useful? You could pick up things without leaning down, and scrub the floor easily, you could regain your balance when you slip, and... Ok, I ran out of uses for it, but you gotta admit that it would be cool somehow. Or is it that I'm just weird?

Well, I guess that's it for today. I'll try to write soon, but can't promise a thing. See you later guys, and please, for the love of God, don't talk about the gagadick anymore... not cool.